Thursday, December 3, 2009

May the iForce be with you!

The lightsaber is a versatile weapon of destruction! While the adversary is mesmerized with its neon glow as it cycles phychedelically, you can calmly sever his arms! If you lose it during a battle, use the force (you just have to set your mind to it) and it flies back into your hands, confusing your adversary for that fleeting second while you turn it back on and plunge it forward ... with guts. If the battery dies...no fear - you can chuck it at the forehead of your enemy, and the heavy handle knocks her out!

Well - the mobile phone just became your 21st century lightsaber - it's WIFI beam just turned your TV on! RedEye just turned your vanilla iPhone into a bona-fide universal remote. So when DarthVader comes huffing into your family room when you're watching the exciting last 2 minutes of Monday Night Football (and you're not in the mood to duel) just whip out your phone, surreptitiously turn on the surround speakers (behind him) at high volume, and, before he can turn back, hit him on the helmet with aforementioned phone! It can even make authentic lightsaber sounds while flying through the air.

Oh - and while he's down, pull out his intergalactic credit card and swipe it on the Square credit card reader that you just plugged into the phone. This Square technology is disruptive, and you can make Vader pay, as you can now accept credit cards on the go!

After the transaction has been consummated, and he's still on the floor, lie down next to him, connect your phone-saber into the Cinemin Swivel and watch King Kong on the ceiling! You might just become friends!

Reasons why the phone is actually more powerful than a lightsaber?
  • you can get maps and directions to Tatooine
  • you can read your email from Jabba between fights
  • you can play Pod-racer on the flight to Naboo
  • you can Tweet Yoda to get tips for the next duel (he can DM instructions to you ;-) )
  • read Hitchhiker's Guide on it at Courisant
  • if Vader isn't looking (doing his Job), you can get a cool Droid eye on the phone too...
May the iForce be with you!
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